I have lived my entire life hearing stories about how women are supposed to act a certain way, how they should talk a certain way, how they should dress a certain way and even how they are supposed to blink at another person a certain way. I guess I am supposed to say I am privileged as I have not been killed by this society. Yet. But I grew up witnessing violence against woman, knowing that even young girls has experienced abuse at the hands of people they should have been able to trust, watching friends experience grooming and manipulation by people significantly older than them, but somehow, I am supposed to be glad that at least, IT WASN’T ME. The privileged woman.
The life I lived, taught me that I should stand up for myself. I should speak up when I see injustice. But if standing up and speaking out, causes my death, the privileged woman won't. Fear runs through my veins. But over the years, that fear has been replaced by something that is far harder to ignore. RAGE.
Rage that I could not protect the woman and girls i loved. Rage that I was educated enough to know what was happening to them was wrong, but not being powerful enough to stop it. Rage that my religion was being used to bring down their women that it so desperately claims to “love”. Rage that every day I am walking around not being assaulted, another woman is.
Even as the privileged woman, I still make sure I don’t show skin. I make sure that my location is being shared to multiple people. I record voice memos on my phone if I am in a car late at night and I still make sure all my doors are locked multiple times before I am able to lay my head down to rest.
That is the life of the privileged woman.
If this is the life of the privileged woman, then what exactly are we calling privileged? I am told day after day, that I am privileged as a woman, because I survived. But this survival itself requires precautions that should have never been necessary.
Thanaal (mariyam.thanaal20@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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