ON the occasion of International Women’s Day 2023 I would like to pay tribute to the only woman in my life who had stood as my role model all the way.
A eulogy of sorts, I write this in loving memory of my dear mother, who passed away recently at the age of 86.
She was a woman who embodied strength, resilience and kindness throughout her life.
She faced challenges with unwavering courage and never lost her positive outlook, even in the face of adversity.
Until her last moments, my mother was always radiant with a ready and beaming smile which she had for everyone.
Her passion for life was unbelievable and it was always obvious when she paid detailed attention to how she presented herself.
She would never leave her room without first grooming herself to some extent and, being endowed with natural beauty, she never needed artificial colours on her face.
She was a legend of sorts as she stood like a pillar of strength and grit all through her life during trying times.
Born in India into a traditional South Indian Hindu Brahmin family, she got married and came to Malaysia in 1963 and raised five children, always instilling the importance of education as a passport to greater things in life.
She would never call it quits at the toughest of times and she forbade us, particularly her daughters, from crying for whatever difficulties.
Crying, she would say was a sign of weakness and it would not solve anything, instead moving with fortitude should be adopted.
Despite her strict upbringing in a conservative environment, she stayed open-minded and accepted radical thoughts from her children and grandchildren.
Her nature was such that she accepted things as they came, never once ridiculing anyone or anything that was not in line with her beliefs.
My dear mother breathed her last two weeks ago and I have still not been able to come to terms with the loss.
I was overseas at the time of her passing and returned just in time for her funeral and other rights.
Her constant desire of late had been to leave the mortal body without suffering and God gave her just that.
She suffered a massive heart attack and was in intense pain just for over an hour before calling it a day.
She lived a full life all right but the human weakness in me troubles me that I might not have done enough for her.
We fulfilled all her needs and made her as comfortable as possible but I wish I had spent more time talking and being with her.
My mom used to be an ardent reader and she would never miss the daily news on TV.
She was considered our family BBC, with information from around the world shared when I returned from work.
Food and cooking became her bane towards the end of her life.
She had such high taste and expectations that no one was even half as good.
She still cooked her own meals with the help of a maid and would not settle for anything less.
She was obstinate in her own ways and none of us could stop her from going into the kitchen for her daily cooking.
We feared for her safety as she was wobbly and walked with the frame on wheels, but she would not give in or give up.
In addition to being a loving wife and mother, she was an active member of our community.
She volunteered her time and resources to numerous events and activities in the organisation, always seeking to make a positive impact on the world around her.
Her kind and generous spirit touched the lives of everyone she met and she will always be remembered for her selflessness and compassion.
All in all, losing one’s mother is an incredibly difficult experience at any age and the range of emotions can be overwhelming, ranging from sadness, anger, and confusion to even guilt.
Each of us develops coping mechanisms when grieving, I haven’t found mine and memories of my mom are still fresh.
I can still feel and hear her presence in the house, not wanting to accept her demise I still live with her, without her.
But all said and done, I know she is in a better place with the angels looking after her.
For those of you who are fortunate to have your parents living with you or vice versa, do enjoy each moment and treat each day as special.
Her passing has left a void in our lives, but we take comfort in knowing that she lived a full and meaningful life.
She was a beacon of light in our lives, and her memory will continue to inspire us to live our lives with the same strength, courage and kindness that she showed us.
Rest in peace, dear mother. You will forever hold a special place in our hearts, and we will always cherish the memories we shared together.
Her love knew no bounds and her spirit never faded. She lived a life of kindness and grace, leaving behind cherished memories and hearts full of love. Rest in peace, dear mother, your legacy will live on forever. Happy International Women’s day, Amma.
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