According to #XUAN解忧树洞, a woman had been in a relationship with her boyfriend for five years, and throughout their relationship, they had always split their expenses equally. From groceries and daily expenses to travel costs, everything was divided equally between them. However, over the years, she began to feel that her boyfriend was extremely stingy with her, to the point that she found it difficult to understand. He earns around RM18,000 to RM25,000 a month, while she earns around RM15,000. Although her income is not low, there were times when she simply wanted to be pampered a little, perhaps have her boyfriend treat her to a meal or buy her a drink. Yet he would almost always refuse or seem reluctant to spend money on her. They had also discussed marriage. He said he hoped they could eventually buy a house together under both their names, and she had no problem with that. She was willing to share the financial responsibility. However, whenever they talked about the dowry or wedding expenses, he would become unhappy and ask, “Why am I always the one who has to pay for everything?” She could never understand why he was so resistant whenever money came up, especially since, apart from around RM3,000 in monthly car payments, he did not seem to have many major financial commitments.
Eventually, after repeatedly questioning him about his financial situation, he finally revealed the truth: he owed the bank around RM100,000 in personal loans. What made the situation even more difficult to understand was that he actually had money available, yet had no intention of paying off the debt early. Instead, he continued making only the minimum payments or paying the interest. He did not buy luxury goods, smoke, drink or spend heavily on socialising. The couple practically lived together every day, and she had never seen him spending excessively on expensive entertainment or other activities. She even asked whether he had a gambling problem, but he denied it. He had also never asked her to help repay his debt. Nevertheless, she is 33 this year, and the relationship had gradually begun to make her feel increasingly insecure about her future. Eventually, she decided to end the relationship.
Since the breakup, she has been struggling with guilt and wondering whether she had been too practical. Was she wrong to walk away when her partner was facing financial difficulties? At the same time, she could not shake the thought that someone who was already carrying RM100,000 in debt still wanted to buy a house jointly with her. It made her question whether he genuinely wanted to build a future together, or whether he simply wanted to share the financial risk with someone else. Even now, she remains torn between guilt and self-preservation. Was she too heartless for leaving, or was she simply choosing to put herself first for once? What do you think? Let me know in the comment box below!
Jovy Jing (ndreagoh@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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