Love is not about being treated like royalty every day. But why are some people made to feel guilty for expecting the bare minimum?
Let's talk about something that has divided countless relationships: bare minimum versus princess treatment.
Scroll through social media, and you'll see couples surprising each other with flowers, planning romantic dates, buying thoughtful gifts, and making grand gestures. Some people call it princess treatment. Others argue that these things are unnecessary because love should not be measured by money.
But somewhere between these two opinions lies a question worth asking: Are we asking for too much, or have we simply become comfortable with too little?
When the Bare Minimum Becomes a Luxury
Imagine a woman who doesn't ask for expensive handbags, luxurious holidays, or extravagant gifts. She simply wants her partner to check whether she has reached home safely, remember the little things she tells him, make time for her despite a busy schedule, and comfort her when she's having a difficult day.
Yet she is labelled as demanding.
"You're too clingy."
"Why do you need constant attention?"
"You're expecting too much."
Eventually, she starts questioning herself. Perhaps she really is asking for too much. Perhaps she should stop expecting anything and appreciate whatever she receives.
But here's the problem: When did expressing your emotional needs become something to be ashamed of?
Of course, nobody can be available every second of the day. People have responsibilities, careers, families, and personal struggles. A healthy relationship requires understanding and realistic expectations.
However, being busy and being consistently careless are two different things.
You don't need to text someone every five minutes to prove your love. But you can communicate. You don't need to buy expensive gifts to show appreciation. But you can be thoughtful. You don't need to plan a perfect date every weekend. But you can make an effort to spend meaningful time together.
Sometimes, the smallest actions reveal the biggest intentions.
Princess Treatment Isn't Always About Money
Let's clear up a common misconception.
Princess treatment doesn't necessarily mean being showered with diamonds, expensive dinners, and designer bags.
Sometimes, it means having a partner who listens without making you feel foolish for expressing your emotions.
It means being remembered without having to repeat every little thing.
It means receiving an apology when your partner hurts you, rather than being told you're too sensitive.
It means feeling secure enough to communicate your feelings without fearing that every disagreement will threaten the relationship.
And sometimes, yes, it means receiving flowers unexpectedly, being taken on a beautiful date, or having someone plan something special just because they want to see you smile.
It's not about how much someone spends on you. It's about how much thought they put into making you feel loved.
A handwritten note can mean more than an expensive necklace. A simple meal prepared after a tiring day can feel more romantic than a five-star restaurant.
The difference is not always the price tag. It's the intention behind the gesture.
The Dangerous Comparison: "Other Girls Get This. Why Don't I?"
Here's where things become complicated.
Social media has turned relationships into a public scoreboard. We see someone receiving a bouquet of fifty roses and suddenly wonder why our partner hasn't bought us even one.
We watch videos of surprise proposals, birthday decorations, expensive gifts, and romantic getaways. Before we know it, we're comparing our private relationships with someone else's carefully selected public moments.
But remember, social media shows you what people choose to share, not the entire reality of their relationships.
Someone receiving expensive gifts isn't automatically happier. Someone posting fewer romantic pictures isn't necessarily less loved.
The real question isn't whether your relationship looks as beautiful as someone else's.
It's whether you feel valued in your own relationship.
You should not have to compete with strangers on the internet to determine your worth. But neither should you use the phrase "social media has unrealistic expectations" to dismiss every genuine need your partner expresses.
There is a difference between demanding a lifestyle you cannot afford together and asking for kindness, consideration, respect, and consistent effort.
One requires financial discussion and compromise. The other is fundamental to a healthy relationship.
"If They Wanted To, They Would" β Is It Really That Simple?
We've all heard this phrase.
"If they wanted to, they would."
It sounds powerful because, sometimes, it's true. People often make time for what matters to them. Consistent actions can reveal whether someone is genuinely invested in a relationship.
But real life isn't always that straightforward.
Someone might love you deeply but struggle with communication. Someone might want to surprise you but lack the financial means. Someone might express love through practical support rather than romantic words.
People have different love languages, financial circumstances, personalities, and ways of expressing affection.
That's why communication matters.
Your partner cannot always guess what makes you feel loved. And you cannot expect someone to fulfil every expectation you have without discussing it.
However, once you've communicated your needs clearly, pay attention to what happens next.
Does your partner listen and try to understand?
Do they make reasonable efforts, even if they cannot meet every expectation?
Or do they repeatedly dismiss your feelings, make promises they never keep, and expect you to accept the same disappointment indefinitely?
Love doesn't require perfection. It does require a willingness to learn, adapt, and make an effort.
Stop Romanticising Relationships That Leave You Feeling Lonely
Perhaps the saddest part of the bare minimum debate is that some people have become so accustomed to receiving so little that ordinary kindness feels extraordinary.
A partner remembers their birthday, and they feel shocked.
A partner apologises after an argument, and they consider it a grand romantic gesture.
A partner spends one evening with them without looking at their phone, and they feel like the most important person in the world.
These moments can genuinely be beautiful. We should appreciate the little things.
But appreciation should not mean lowering your expectations until neglect becomes acceptable.
You can be grateful for what your partner does while still communicating what you need.
You can understand their struggles without ignoring your own feelings.
You can love someone deeply without convincing yourself that your emotional needs are unimportant.
And you can recognise that someone is trying their best while honestly acknowledging that your relationship may need to change.
The goal isn't to find someone who treats you like a princess every second. It's to find someone who doesn't make you feel like a burden for wanting to be loved.
So, Bare Minimum or Princess Treatment?
Perhaps we've been asking the wrong question all along.
Instead of debating whether women deserve princess treatment, maybe we should ask why basic consideration and thoughtful affection are constantly being treated as opposing ideas.
A healthy relationship can include both.
It can include respect, honesty, emotional support, and reliability. It can also include flowers, surprises, romantic dates, and little gestures that make ordinary days feel special.
Neither partner should have to carry the entire emotional responsibility of the relationship.
Both people deserve to feel appreciated. Both deserve to feel heard. Both deserve to receive love in ways that matter to them.
And neither should have to prove their worth by accepting less than they need.
At the end of the day, love is not a competition to see who can spend the most money or make the grandest gesture.
It's about showing up, keeping your word, respecting each other, and making a genuine effort to nurture the relationship.
Because the most meaningful kind of princess treatment isn't about a crown, a bouquet, or a luxury lifestyle.
It's about being with someone who makes you feel safe, respected, appreciated, and loved without making you beg for it.
And perhaps the real luxury in today's world isn't being treated like royalty. It's being loved without having to question whether you matter.
π¬ Let's talk: What do you think is the difference between the bare minimum and princess treatment? Is expecting flowers, dates, and thoughtful surprises asking for too much, or should romantic effort be a normal part of a relationship?
Mirhaa05 (hemirhaphysio@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
The User Content (as defined on Newswav Terms of Use) above including the views expressed and media (pictures, videos, citations etc) were submitted & posted by the author. Newswav is solely an aggregation platform that hosts the User Content. If you have any questions about the content, copyright or other issues of the work, please contact creator@newswav.com.