Is the future of dating still online—or are we all just one bad match away from logging off permanently?
Does online dating even still exist? We’ve left the pandemic era, when dating apps were at their peak, and it’s fair to wonder whether anyone’s still swiping—or whether the trend now is to show up at a HYROX event with a placard and hope for the best. While the apps aren’t the whole story anymore, the search for love hasn’t left the internet. It’s just changed shape.
Unfortunately, years of swiping, matching, and exchanging small talk with strangers have left a lot of people burned out—dating-app fatigue is basically a personality trait at this point. We have more ways to meet someone than any generation before us, and somehow, it feels harder to actually connect.
So, I went to the source and spoke with the CEO of Coffee Meets Bagel Worldwide, Shn Juay, about what’s actually changed, what singles want now, and whether the future of dating is less about infinite choice and more about finding that one person who is worth swiping for. After all, Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) has been navigating the dating-app landscape since 2012, so when it comes to understanding where online dating is headed, we’re inclined to take her word for it.
When CMB first launched in 2012, why do you think it took off the way it did?
When we launched in 2012, online dating was still relatively new, and there was a clear opportunity to make the experience feel more thoughtful and less overwhelming. Our founders believed that more matches didn’t necessarily mean better dating, which is why we focused on quality over quantity from the very beginning. Instead of encouraging endless browsing, we wanted to help people meet someone they could genuinely connect with. I think that philosophy resonated because while technology has changed the way people meet, the fundamental desire to feel seen, understood, and supported in a relationship hasn’t changed.
What’s the biggest misconception about online dating that you find yourself debunking most often?
The biggest misconception is that all dating apps are essentially the same. They’re not. Every platform is designed around different behaviours and goals. At Coffee Meets Bagel, we’ve always been focused on people who are looking for something real and meaningful, rather than simply maximising the number of matches or time spent on the app. Ultimately, dating apps are tools to help people meet, but the real goal is to help them build meaningful relationships offline.
Online dating usage peaked during Covid and has cooled since—what’s driving that “dating fatigue”?
Dating fatigue is real, but I don’t think it means people have stopped wanting relationships. In many ways, it’s a result of the way modern dating has evolved—endless swiping, shallow conversations, and connections that rarely progress beyond the app can make the experience feel exhausting and transactional. When you’re presented with hundreds of potential options, it’s also easy to start evaluating people against a checklist rather than genuinely getting to know them.
What does dating fatigue look like from the inside? Is it burnout from too many matches, too much messaging, too many disappointing first dates, or something else?
It’s usually a combination of all those things. It can be exhausting to constantly start conversations with new people, especially when many of those conversations don’t progress or end in ghosting. Having too many matches can also create a sense of choice overload, while spending a lot of time chatting without ever meeting in person can make dating feel like another digital task. That’s part of what we’re trying to address with CMB 2.0, helping people move through the dating journey more naturally, from better introductions and conversations to actually meeting in the real world.
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I don’t think people are moving away from dating apps; they are just becoming more conscious of how they want to use them. We’ve never believed that more is always better, and the growing conversation around dating fatigue reinforces that. People don’t necessarily want more options. They want better ones, and they want the experience to feel more meaningful. With CMB 2.0, we’re not trying to abandon technology or the convenience of meeting people online; we’re trying to use it more thoughtfully to help people date better.
Has CMB noticed specific behaviours—like ghosting or one-word replies—that signal a user’s fatigue before they even realise it?
There are certainly broader patterns we see, such as conversations losing momentum, matches not progressing beyond a few messages, or people simply struggling with what to say next. But we wouldn’t label any single behaviour, whether that’s ghosting or a short reply, as a definitive sign of dating fatigue. There can be many reasons behind how someone engages.
What’s more useful for us is understanding where people tend to get stuck in the dating journey and designing ways to reduce that friction.
The challenge isn’t always getting a match in the first place; often, it’s what happens afterwards. Sometimes the hardest part is simply starting a meaningful conversation. Other times, people may have started talking but struggle to build enough momentum, interest or confidence to take things further.
To me, this reinforces that having more opportunities to match doesn’t necessarily translate into more meaningful connections. A match can happen in seconds, but building the momentum, interest, and trust needed to turn that match into something real takes effort from both people. When that process repeatedly stalls, that’s where fatigue can start to set in.
What’s a red flag you watch for when someone’s curating their own profile—something that quietly hurts their chances without them realising it?
One thing that can quietly hurt someone’s chances is creating a profile that tells people a lot about you but doesn’t give them much to connect with. Of course, your profile should show your interests, personality, and the things that matter to you. That’s the whole point.
But there’s a difference between simply listing information about yourself and presenting it in a way that gives someone an easy opening to start a conversation. For example, instead of simply saying, “I love travelling, the gym, and trying new restaurants,” you could share something more specific: “Currently looking for someone to help me find the best dirty latte in KL,” or “My ideal Sunday is a workout followed by hunting down the city’s best coffee.” Both still tell someone about your interests, but they also give a potential match something concrete to respond to.
Walk us through the newer features you’ve rolled out.
There are several new features I’m excited about from Coffee Meets Bagel Worldwide 2.0 because each one addresses a different point of friction in modern dating.
Selfie Verification, for example, is about building greater trust and authenticity from the beginning, giving people more confidence that the person they’re connecting with is genuinely who they say they are. Topic Suggestions help tackle that awkward first step when you match with someone but don’t know how to start a meaningful conversation, while Real Dates is designed to help people move beyond endless messaging and meet in person.
In your opinion, what does it take to find love these days?
It starts with being willing to stay curious. Don’t go into every date trying to decide whether you’ve met “the one”. Instead, go in with the intention of wanting to learn about another person. I also feel it’s important not to treat dating like a numbers game. Focus on having a few meaningful conversations rather than trying to match with everyone, be honest about what you’re looking for, and communicate with kindness.
And ultimately, remember that a dating app is just the introduction. If you’re serious about finding a life partner, you must be willing to show up, meet in person, and put in the effort to build a meaningful connection offline.
Note : The information in this article is accurate as of the date of publication.
