ON June 17, an alleged retired general of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) brandished his firearm while accosting a motorist who had blocked his driveway along a street in Brgy. Addition Hills, Mandaluyong City. Several decades ago, we did not have these altercations in our communities. The Philippines had thousands of barangay (villages) with neighbors who were closely-knit, ultra-friendly, amiable, and caring — qualities that became the foundation of this young nation-state. My grandparents told me stories of how neighbors were treated no less than distant relatives, looking after each other and ensuring the well-being of all members of their community.
Filipinos found a sense of belonging in these neighborhoods, where individuals practically grew up with other families who acted as their surrogates and next of kin during periods of scarcity and uncertainty. Neighbors would offer food, willingly babysat children other than their own, and shared all forms of assistance with hard-up families. In more ways than one, Filipino neighbors became an informal support group or welfare system that the State could not provide — where everyone was deeply connected with each other.
However, the rise of urbanization, economic turbulence and social media technology gradually diminished the memories of a good ole’ neighbor. Families were fractured by economic hardship as some were forced to migrate to urban centers while others flew overseas to work as blue-collar workers. Neighbors were separated as well, and the influx of new faces sparked distrust and disputes within communities. The relocation of informal settlers into these neighborhoods also disrupted the peace, familiarity and comfort. Soon, no one wanted to talk and converse with one another, with strangers being regarded with suspicion. Rather than meeting and greeting face-to-face, social media emerged as a faster and convenient form of communication, but it was an artificial dialogue and less meaningful. Then toxic politics arrived, with some in favor of populism while others support liberal democracy. The rift ruined old friendships and relationships and trapped people in their echo chambers.
Now, Filipinos have hurriedly locked their doors and built higher fences to protect themselves from neighbors, whom they considered as intruders. Subdivisions and enclaves were built to offer sanctuary and security, at a steep price, to those seeking escape, exclusivity and seclusion. As communities were engulfed by indifference, congestion and rapid urbanization, the old neighborhoods were replaced by condominiums, malls and parking lots. A case in point is the famous housing projects in Quezon City, which were once residential areas near Araneta Center. From the 1970s to 1980s, neighbors knew one another. There were fewer crimes, like theft, burglary or sexual assault, as residents helped safeguard their neighborhoods. Communities near Cubao were clean, safe and vibrant. However, these housing projects have changed dramatically through the decades, with old families relocating to the suburbs, more high-rise buildings being built instead of new homes, and recurring reports of crimes and descent to urban blight scaring old residents away.
One author said that nostalgia is a mental disorder, when one cannot move past a blissful state to confront the harsh realities of the present. Those caught in nostalgia are said to be mentally paralyzed and unable to cope with their current lives. But having good ole’ neighbors seems to be cherished by many Filipinos who miss the connection and social cohesion that once marked our nation.
Unfortunately, the neighbors of today are less friendly, more judgmental and emotionally toxic, preferring to converse on social media rather than in-person because of its anonymity. Neighbors also provoke others into conflict, like the motorist who purposely angered the retired general while videoing him in his fury. Unfortunately, the retired general was caught in his most unguarded moment, and his privacy was violated when his actions became the subject of viral posts and angry comments.
With such awful scenes in social media, where the line of decency is often breached, it is hard not to be nostalgic for the good ole’ neighbors of our distant past.
