Many young Malaysians admit they are learning adulthood through panic, mistakes and emergencies because nobody ever taught them how to manage real life.
FOR many young Malaysians entering their 20s, adulthood is beginning to feel less exciting and more overwhelming.
Questions about insurance, taxes, savings, estate matters and even what to do after a car accident are no longer distant responsibilities, but realities creeping closer with each passing year.
A discussion on Threads recently struck a chord after one user’s honest anxiety about growing up quickly evolved into a wider conversation about how most adults are quietly figuring life out as they go along.
User @ilovespicycarbonara touched a nerve after openly asking how adults learn important life skills that are rarely taught in school.
“Serious question to all adults; how do you guys learn important things like insurance, savings, or what to do after your parents pass away?” she wrote, adding that she had been feeling anxious since entering her 20s.
The 21-year-old questioned whether people learnt such life skills through research, guidance from parents or simply through experience, pointing to responsibilities such as handling taxes, car payments, credit and estate matters.
The post quickly drew responses from people admitting they had been just as confused at the same age — and in many cases, still are.
User @glaristan, who is turning 19 this year, said their mother had gradually begun introducing them to “adult stuff” such as insurance, salary management and LHDN matters, although many questions still remained unanswered.
“What should I do if I get into an accident? Should I throw away this receipt? Which insurance plan is better? Investments?” the user wrote, adding: “I believe we’ll ‘adult naturally’. Let’s keep going with adulting.”
Others said adulthood is often learnt through necessity rather than preparation. User @mas.shaari, who has lived independently since the age of 21, said they picked up most life skills through online research, advice from friends and guidance from professionals.
Several commenters said curiosity and conversations with older people were key to navigating adulthood, with user @nyaman.zzz encouraging younger people to ask questions without embarrassment.
Others said some lessons are only learnt through difficult experiences. User @masyuwu shared that they gradually learnt about budgeting, insurance, taxes, estates and wills through work and real-life situations, including after being involved in an accident where another adult guided them through the process.
User @ubattinggi._my similarly said they only fully understood estate and land matters after their mother passed away, describing adulthood as something often learnt through circumstance rather than formal teaching.
The discussion also highlighted how many adults are still improvising as they go. User @luqmanf9 said most people learn through “trial and error, Google, asking friends, making mistakes before learning”, adding that many remain confused even in their 30s because nobody ever taught them comprehensively.
“The fact that you’re already asking these questions at 21 puts you ahead of a lot of people who only start looking for answers once they’re already in trouble,” the user wrote.
Some responses also reflected a wider frustration among younger Malaysians who feel adulthood arrived without a manual, with user @umbrelllaa questioning how previous generations seemed able to handle marriage, finances and family responsibilities much earlier in life.
Meanwhile, user @adamant58r described adulthood as learning in real time through emergencies and mistakes.
“I actually learnt on the day of the accident itself from the paramedic,” the user recalled. “When I woke up in hospital, I asked the nurse too.”