At some point in your life, you may ask yourself, "Should I forgive this person?" And occasionally, the response is in the affirmative. You are sick of lugging bitterness, disappointment, and wrath with you everyplace you go—not because what they did was acceptable. You want harmony, which is why you forgive. You want to move on, so you forgive. However, forgiveness does not imply that all that occurred is instantaneously forgotten.
Certain memories stick with us for a very long time. You remember how that person made you feel even if you can't recall the precise discussion, the date, or even the little details. You recall the day you shed tears. You recall the instant you were aware that things had changed. You recall how deeply you were wounded when you really trusted someone. Whether you like it or not, those memories form a part of your life narrative.
Moving on can sometimes be interpreted as returning to the previous state of affairs. It doesn't. Even if you have forgiven someone, you may still decide to keep them out of your life. It is possible to forgive a friend without reestablishing a friendship. You don't have to let the person you once loved return to your heart in order to forgive them. Giving someone unrestricted access to you again is not the goal of forgiveness; rather, it is about letting go of the hurt.
To be honest, the hardest part is realizing that what happened cannot be undone. You can't go back in time and alter the day you were injured. You are unable to erase all of your memories. However, you have the power to alter the significance you assign to those recollections. You can view them as evidence that you overcame something that previously seemed insurmountable rather than as evidence that you were weak.\
There are good memories too. Not everything has to become ugly just because something ended badly. Sometimes, a person can have been important to you and still no longer belong in your life. You can appreciate the good moments while accepting the painful ending. Life is complicated like that. People can give us beautiful memories and painful lessons at the same time.
Healing ultimately has nothing to do with forgetting. It's about remembering without letting your memories rule you. You don't have to live with the anger indefinitely. You are able to recall the suffering without actually experiencing it.
Perhaps it is the true meaning of moving on. Reaching a stage where you can look back and say, "Yes, that hurt me," rather than deleting the past. Yes, I do recall it. However, it is no longer able to control me.
Mirhaa05 (hemirhaphysio@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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