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SHAH ALAM - It is generally not recommended to leave children in the care of another child due to the potential risks involved.
People, especially parents, should understand that they can't expect their young children to make sound adult judgements.
According to a psychiatrist, International Islamic University of Malaysia (IIUM) associate professor Dr Hijaz Ridzwan many factors influence whether this is a wise approach.
In general, they must recognise that 'older' children are still children and they may lack the maturity, experience, expertise, and, most significantly, patience required to handle the obligations and demands of child care.
They may lack the abilities to respond effectively, especially in situations requiring speedy decision making and if there is no other option, there must be extensive advice, safety protocols, and continual monitoring of the situation, he added.
"It is generally not recommended to leave children in the care of another child due to the potential risks involved.
"Younger children require constant supervision and care that older siblings may not be able to provide consistently.
"Again I reiterate that the elder siblings are still growing up themselves and may not possess enough experience especially if involving toddlers.
"Children have varying levels of maturity, and we cannot expect them to competently handle the responsibilities of that even adults sometimes struggle with," Hijaz said.
Hijaz stated that the stress and responsibility of caring for younger siblings at such a young age might be daunting, but it does contribute to their emotional well-being.
If it is a long-term arrangement, such as weeks or months, the elder sibling may feel burnout, which can lead to depression.
There are numerous additional aspects to consider, including the level of assistance, monitoring, and the burden of care - caring for toddlers, siblings with Autism, ADHD, or any other impairment is considered to be more difficult than caring for older, more independent children.
"Maybe 5-10 years ago, when access to babysitters was limited or unavailable, parents may have had no choice but to rely on older siblings to care for younger children.
"Life was much simpler back then, and we did not have much knowledge about mental health and the potential risks involved. nowadays I feel that we have evolved to a society that places more empathy on the well being of children.
"Parents should be aware of this and take advantage of the easy accesibility to the numerous professional services available, at varying costs.
"It is generally recommended to have responsible adult supervision or qualified caregivers to ensure the safety and proper care of children, especially when they are very young or in situations requiring extra attention."
It's worth noting that terrible events like the one you cited underscore the dangers of leaving young children solely in the care of their older siblings.
These incidents highlight the importance of responsible and adequate supervision for children's well-being and safety," he responded.
Meanwhile, Malaysian Society of Clinical Psychology president Joel Low thinks that inherently having elder siblings take care of younger ones is never a good idea because fundamentally they’re kids still.
Taking care of themselves is hard enough, so having them be responsible for another life is really pushing the limits of what they’re able to be responsible for, he added.
"In addition, you’re also forcing the child to ‘grow up’ mature quicker or faster than what they’re able to do.
"There’s a reason why we have voting and drinking age limits, because biologically, psychologically, we’re not yet able to make good matured decisions to take care of ourselves, what more others.
"And when you force them to grow up like that, it’s going to take a toll on them psychologically as well.
"Ultimately, the responsibility of a child should be with parents/adults, as we cannot expect young children to have the capacity to make good mature decisions that are ‘right’," Joel said.
Joel believes it has the potential to influence or affect an individual and it's too soon to determine whether they'll have mental health issues, depression, or anything else, but it will undoubtedly have an affect on their personality.
For example, it may increase their sense of duty to the point that they become'supermen/superwomen,' having to save everyone around them and sacrificing themselves to take care of everyone at the expense of their own well-being. And this is probably the milder end of the spectrum.
"Times change, and the exposure that our kids have now to different things, media, experiences, stories, actions etc have changed as well.
"I’m not saying that media makes us violent, but they definitely open up to us a range of different options to choose from.
"And being children, we cannot rely on them to always be able to make the mature, right choice.
"I wouldn’t be surprised if the older brother wasn’t even entirely aware what the concept of death was potentially."
KPJ Healthcare Berhad child & adolescent psychiatrist Dr Sankari Ganesh Narayanasamy stated that both parents must work in order to meet their present financial obligations and frequently see parents leave their children in the care of an older sibling or a nanny.
When they leave one child or ask the child to care for another child, they must understand the definition of child because the child is under the age of 18.
And, as in the recent case, the little kid is still regarded a child at the very least, they need a guardian in the house to physically observe their actions.
"Children cannot be tasked to take up responsibility as they are still developing and lack the ability in thinking and maturity.
"Although they can be trained to be responsible or take care of others but still under strict monitoring of another adult and not to be left on their own.
"In terms of brain development, an adolescent is still immature in problem-solving skills, decision-making skills and negotiation skills.
"And hence they may rely on their emotions to make a decision which is often immature and could be disastrous," Sankari told Sinar Daily.
Sankari said that we can't blame the parents since they're going through a difficult period right now, and the family needs a lot of help to get over this trauma because people sometimes start blaming the parents when they're already suffering.
Although parents may leave small children with older siblings in the past, back then community support was still extremely strong.
They still have relatives nearby who can assist them in an emergency.
"We rarely know our neighbours these days and children in this era are also more stressed than children in prior eras.
"Today's world is overly competitive, stressful, and draining on young minds by bullying, family strife, a lack of social support, internet addiction, social media, and other factors all lead to poor mental health in society."
Arissa Zulazman 24, a mother of two children said that the parents may have left their children to care for each other when the children may not have been equipped with the necessary knowledge to do so and placing such a responsibility on a child is irresponsible
"Likewise, children may not be sufficiently equipped to care for their siblings.
"Although many times it works, there’s always a chance of an emergency happening.
"And in this case, the parents have not properly considered their child’s temperament and mental well-being, seeing as the child seemed to struggle with stress and did not know how to cope.
"Adding the responsibility of caring for another child only adds to that pressure," Arissa said.
Arissa stated that this certainly can be detrimental to a child's mental health
Bullying is traumatic in and of itself, but when it occurs at boarding institutions, the suffering is amplified.
When a child lives in survival mode on a daily basis, there is little room for adequate and healthy growth, resulting in a distorted sense of reality.
It can have serious effects such as self-harm, hopelessness, and low self-worth.
"It’s understandable that babysitters are costly to parents, and there is a risk of the children being mistreated by babysitters as well.
"It is logical decision to find alternatives. However, in this situation, if the parents knew their child has irrational and violent tendencies, it should be apparent that the child will not be able to handle such a responsibility.
"Such a tragic incident could have been avoided if the parents had asked their relatives or neighbours to keep an eye on them, for example. It is sad that this is the outcome." she said.
Scicom Sdn Bhd customer service Danish Akmal Arzan 29, who is a father of 4 children feels that parents in this era, seldom teach older siblings the responsibility of being an elder sibling and how to care for their younger siblings.
"In my opinion 14 years old is not yet a capable age to have the responsibility to take care of a younger sibling in any kind of situation,
in any part of the world even if you're 16 or 17 parents still get babysitters for them because they have not yet developed a mature common sense," he stressed.
