Living together is supposed to mean supporting each other, but for one man, the relationship has become more exhausting than comforting.
According to XUAN解忧树洞, he has been with his girlfriend for five years. He does not consider himself perfect, but he believes he has always tried to be responsible and generous. Meals, entertainment, holiday spending and festive gifts are usually paid for by him. He also makes an effort to create special moments during anniversaries and other occasions.
Before the pandemic, his girlfriend earned a good income and was used to buying higher end products. Even after her income dropped significantly, she still preferred the same lifestyle, and he continued trying to accommodate her.
A few years ago, she asked him to help pay for her car. At first, they shared the payments, but eventually he ended up covering almost all of them, including the insurance.
Despite all this, small disagreements often turn into major arguments.
At first, he would try to explain his side logically. She once told him that using logic might win an argument but would cost him the relationship. After hearing that repeatedly, he started keeping quiet and tolerating more.
One recent incident left him especially hurt.
He was feeling dizzy and almost sick while driving a long distance. She had asked him to put some food into a bag, but he did not hear properly. After taking a shower upstairs, she came back down and realized the food had not been packed. She threw it away and continued scolding him.
He could not understand why she could not simply remind him again.
Later, they stopped at a petrol station. She asked him to buy a bottle of 100 Plus while he was there. He got out to refuel, but she did not get the drink. After getting back into the car, he realized there was nowhere convenient to stop, so he decided not to get out again.
That became another argument.
She questioned why he could not simply park somewhere and buy it himself. He stayed silent, wondering why someone who was already feeling unwell had to endure so much anger.
The couple both love travelling and usually go overseas once or twice a year. He is willing to spend generously on their trips, including RM50,000 on Europe and RM40,000 on Australia. He never complained about the cost because he believed money could be earned again.
But even during holidays, small issues could turn the trip into an emotional nightmare.
After five years, he is starting to realize that love alone may not be enough.
He is willing to give, but he also wants to be treated with patience and respect. Being the man in the relationship does not mean he has no feelings.
Sometimes the most exhausting part of a relationship is not the money spent or the arguments themselves. It is reaching the point where silence feels easier than trying to be understood.
Jovy Jing (ndreagoh@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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