I am writing this article with a heartfelt thought of an issue that has been on my mind recently. Lately, I have experienced the sorrow of losing colleagues and also loved ones. It is often said that people always get together when an unfortunate act happens. The spontaneous show of support and the crowdfunding efforts taken have truly been very touching. When the contribution reaches the bereaved families, it is really wonderful. However, reflecting on these difficult times, I feel there is more that can be done during the difficult period. I believe, based on the feedback given, there is an opportunity to do more for the bereaved family. The grieving period is an incredibly challenging time, both practically and emotionally, especially if the deceased is the breadwinner of the family. Families face immediate expenses and needs in the days after the funeral.
My hope is that we cultivate more meaningful rituals in the final ceremony. The "Khodee" ceremony, which is a must, in a Hindu funeral, must be viewed over its relevance. In these rituals “Khodees” such as dhotis, sarees, wreaths, and garlands are given by relatives and close friends. This is a requirement of the Hindu religion. Even if it is a must to practice such rituals, there must be limitations on the number of such “gifts,” as finally all the gifts goes into the grave or the fire with the body. The family of the bereaved needs money rather than the "precious gifts." If the bereaved person is influential and popular, he will receive hundreds of these gifts, which will not benefit the family at all. While traditional “khodee” gifts like floral tributes, sarees, dhotis and garlands are deeply rooted in a Hindu traditional funeral for centuries, the wastage must be given a second evaluation of its importance. The wastage doesn't address the most pressing practical need of the family reeling from the loss. Instead of these gifts money could be given to the family as a gift.
The Hindu community especially has to move with the times, as some of the rituals are archaic. My hope is that the Hindus look in the right direction. The Chinese community, I believe, has a mechanism where someone from the guilds or clan collects money for the family of the deceased. The collection known as bereavement money is a tradition of the Chinese for centuries. It is called 'Bai Jin' or 'Pek Kim' and is collected prior to the final rites. The money is donated to the family of the deceased. This is to reduce the burden on the family of the deceased. This tradition is firmly established in the culture of the Chinese and practiced all over the world.
There must be a shift in the funeral rituals especially of the Hindus. In addition to the traditional approach, the Hindus should consider contributing financially to the family of the deceased prior to the funeral. Financial assistance at the crucial time can provide much-needed relief for funeral arrangements, unexpected costs, and daily living expenses, allowing the family to focus on their grief without added burdens.
Palaniappan Karuppan (deeo02@yahoo.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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