One aspect of romantic relationships that is rarely discussed is the fact that your spouse is not you. They don't think or feel the same as you, and most significantly, they don't have to have similar interests. And that's totally OK. But when one person pressures the other to be someone they're not, things go wrong.
Career decisions, schooling, lifestyle choices, and even little daily routines fall under this category. You may believe that you are supporting, mentoring, or "wanting the best" for your partner. However, you are no longer assisting if they are unprepared or uncomfortable; instead, you are applying pressure.
Because when you push someone, they respond out of fear rather than willingness. Fear of being let down, fear of losing you, and concern that if they don't live up to your expectations, you will love them less. Therefore, they may still comply with your request. Will they, however, give it their all? No. It will always be accompanied by reluctance, overanalyzing, and emotional tiredness.
To be honest, what type of outcome do you anticipate from that? Perhaps you will achieve your desired result, but you will never experience your partner's sincere effort, passion, or joy. Because you made the decision for them, not them.
Because of this, communication is important, but it's not just about talking; it's also about understanding. Loving your partner is vital, but so is respecting their interests. "I follow you, you follow me" is not the essence of a relationship. Even if the paths appear slightly different, it's important to go side by side. You may not always understand your partner's direction, but it doesn't mean it's incorrect for them.
So honestly ask yourself: Is it appropriate to put pressure on your partner to live up to your expectations? Love shouldn't feel like coercion if it is genuine. It need to have the feel of space. They have the freedom to develop, make their own decisions, and be authentic.
Mirhaa05 (hemirhaphysio@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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