While religion serves as a good moral compass for one to navigate through life’s many challenges and temptations, some people get a little too worked up over it and rub others the wrong way.
A woman had up to her neck with her boyfriend’s overbearing and overtly-religious mother who posed such a huge headache that she eventually chose to end the relationship.
‘Not a Christian? No wedding!’
In an anonymous confession, the OP wrote she was in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend for three years.
But throughout this time, his mother didn’t seem to approve of her for one simple reason: she wasn’t a Christian.
“On several occasions, I went to his home to visit his family. However, those visits somehow turned into full-blown “preaching sessions”, where I’d be urged repeatedly to convert to Christianity.
“At the time, I simply listened politely without arguing back. But later, I found out my boyfriend’s mother had privately told him that he cannot marry non-Christians.”
The OP said from that point on, this issue became a thorn in their side as it led to multiple arguments and cracks appearing in their relationship.
Blowup over minor matters
The OP said she had bought most of her boyfriend’s clothes, which were then worn by his sister without permission.
Because of this, her boyfriend’s mother assumed she was spending her son’s money on herself when it was the opposite, leaving the OP feeling baffled.
Another incident which further worsened the situation was when her boyfriend came to KL to spend a few days with her during his semester break, where he slept on the couch instead of booking a hotel.
Despite the OP’s best efforts to avoid any misunderstandings, the woman said her boyfriend’s mother flew off the handle when she found out as she believed couples should not stay under the same roof lest they engage in premarital sex.
To top things off, her boyfriend’s mother claimed this was based on Biblical teachings and that if the OP refused to follow, it meant she didn’t love her boyfriend enough.
To avoid another blowup, the OP and her boyfriend resorted to phone calls made at night behind his mother’s back.
Unfortunately, the older woman found out about it one night at 11pm, where she snatched her son’s phone and began berating the OP by accusing her of keeping her son awake in the middle of the night and affecting his health.
“What disappointed me the most was not what she said, but the fact that my boyfriend said nothing to defend me as his mother berated me.
“At that moment, I realised that the problem I was facing had never been just about having an overbearing mother-in-law-to-be, but that the person who was supposed to face these problems alongside me never once stood up for me,” the OP wrote.
Breakup
Sensing that the relationship was going nowhere, the OP decided to part ways with her boyfriend.
However, she said the experience taught her many things despite the ugly confrontations she went through.
“When two people are preparing to enter marriage, family, values, and the way they handle problems together can become real challenges.
If one person is consistently unwilling to take responsibility for the relationship, even the deepest love may not be enough to make it work.”
The OP also pointed out that she holds no grudges towards Christians, adding that she has many Christian friends who are warm, kind, and open-minded.
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