Being an Anak Malaysia means carrying a piece of home with you, even when you are thousands of kilometres away.
For me, I felt that most strongly when I stood on the starting line at the SEA Championship, wearing Malaysia’s colours.
I had two painful blisters, one on each ankle.
They hurt badly. Every step was uncomfortable, and I knew immediately that this was not going to be my best competition. Because of the competition rules, I could not simply cover them with a plaster or anything else to protect them.
I remember thinking about how much better I could have performed if I had not been dealing with the pain.
I was frustrated. I was disappointed.
But there was nothing I could do except race.
So I told myself to hold on.
I had already come this far. There was no point in giving up at the starting line.
So I stepped into the water and gave the competition everything I had.
I did not win a medal.
For a while, that was difficult to accept. I knew I had more in me. I knew that, without the blisters, I could have performed better.
But when I look back now, I realise that the result was not the only thing that mattered.
Out of five events, I achieved four personal bests.
I did not stand on the podium, but I still left the competition knowing that I had pushed myself as far as I could.
And perhaps more importantly, I left with something that could never appear on a medal table: friendships.
I met people who became part of one of the most meaningful chapters of my sporting journey. Some were teammates, while others were athletes I met through competition. We trained, competed, laughed and shared experiences that I know I will remember long after my sporting career is over.
I did not know it at the time, but that competition would be my last as an athlete.
And that makes everything about it feel even more significant.
My journey to that starting line was never a straightforward one.
I started swimming when I was 12 years old.
Even then, I knew I was late.
Many swimmers around me had started when they were much younger. They had years of training and competition experience that I did not have. I knew I had a lot of catching up to do.
But I loved swimming.
So I kept going.
I trained, competed, and tried my best to represent my school. Eventually, I had the opportunity to represent my state.
At that age, I did not know where swimming would take me. I certainly never imagined that one day I would be wearing the Malaysian flag on my competition kit.
But eventually, age became one of the things that stopped me from going further in competitive swimming.
I could have simply accepted that my opportunity had ended.
Instead, I tried something different.
At 17, I joined water polo and eventually represented Selangor.
For a while, I thought perhaps water polo would become my next sporting path.
But that journey did not last forever either.
Eventually, I stopped.
For about a year, I stepped away from competitive sport completely.
That was one of the most uncertain periods of my life.
Without training, competitions and the routine that had shaped so much of my life, I began asking myself a question I had never really needed to confront before:
What do I actually want to become one day?
I did not have an answer.
Then, when I was 19, a friend introduced me to finswimming.
At first, I was simply trying another sport.
Because I already had a background in swimming and water polo, I was able to adapt relatively quickly.
But something unexpected happened.
I started enjoying it.
What began as simply trying another sport slowly became another chapter of my athletic journey.
I began representing my state.
Then, eventually, I was given the opportunity to represent Malaysia.
Suddenly, the girl who once thought she had started swimming too late was travelling overseas as a Malaysian athlete.
I competed internationally at events including the World Cup, World Championships and SEA Championships.
Looking back, I think that is one of the most meaningful parts of my story.
I did not follow a straight path.
I started swimming at 12.
I changed sports.
I stopped competing for a year.
I questioned what I wanted to do with my life.
And somehow, I found my way back into the water.
There is something different about representing your country.
When I competed at home, I was an athlete chasing my own goals.
But when I travelled overseas wearing Malaysia’s colours, I realised I was carrying something much bigger than myself.
I was carrying the Malaysian flag.
I was carrying the support of my family, my coaches, my teammates and my friends. I was carrying the encouragement of everyone who had supported me throughout the years, even when I could not see them standing beside the pool.
Sometimes, I felt more Malaysian when I was far away from Malaysia than I ever had at home.
Seeing the Malaysian flag at an international competition felt different.
Hearing Malaysia announced felt different.
Wearing the word “Malaysia” on my kit felt different.
It reminded me that representing a country is not simply about being the fastest person in the water.
It is about being given the privilege to stand there in the first place.
It is about carrying the people and the place that helped shape you.
And it is about representing Malaysia with pride, regardless of what the scoreboard says at the end.
When I think about my final competition now, I still wish things had been different.
I wish I had not had those blisters.
I wish I could have performed at my full potential.
I wish perhaps I could have ended my athlete journey with a medal.
But life does not always give us the ending we imagine.
Instead, I got four personal bests out of five events.
I got friendships that I will carry with me.
I got memories that will stay with me long after I stop competing.
And I got one final opportunity to put on Malaysia’s colours and step into the water as an athlete.
Perhaps that is enough.
Because being an Anak Malaysia, to me, is not always about winning.
Sometimes, it is about continuing when things become difficult.
It is about refusing to let a painful moment erase everything you have worked for.
It is about carrying your country with pride, even when you are far from home.
It is about the people you meet along the way, the friendships you build, and the memories you bring home with you.
And sometimes, it is about learning that your worth is not measured by a medal.
I may have finished my journey as an athlete, but I will always be grateful that I had the opportunity to represent Malaysia.
If I could go back and speak to the 12 year old girl who thought she had started too late, I would tell her this:
You are not too late.
Your journey may not look like everyone else’s.
You may change sports.
You may stop.
You may question yourself.
You may even think your opportunity has passed.
But sometimes, the path you take to get there is what makes the destination meaningful.
I started swimming at 12.
I thought I was late.
Years later, I stood on an international starting line wearing Malaysia’s colours.
And although my final race did not end with a medal, I know I gave it everything I had.
For me, that is what being an Anak Malaysia means.
It means carrying home with you wherever you go.
And I will always be proud that, for one chapter of my life, I carried Malaysia with me into the water.
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Jovy Jing (ndreagoh@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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