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By Mihar Dias (C) Copyright January 2024
In a groundbreaking twist of absurdity, Malaysia's football team, despite their spectacular failure at the Asian Cup, was greeted like conquering heroes.
Minister Hannah Yeoh, with all the enthusiasm of a circus ringleader, celebrated the team's lacklustre performance at KLIA, tossing congratulations like confetti
Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim's decision to allocate a questionable RM5 million to the underachieving squad is truly a stroke of genius – if by genius, we mean baffling ignorance. Clearly, rewarding mediocrity has become the new national sport.
The nation was told to applaud a 3-3 drama against South Korea and a narrow 1-0 loss to Bahrain as if they were legendary victories. The 4-0 drubbing by Jordan?
Oh, just a minor inconvenience. Who needs success when you can have a good narrative?
Malaysia's football illusion of being back to Asian standards shattered as they finished at the bottom of their group, a feat unmatched in incompetence.
Meanwhile, neighbours Indonesia and Thailand are advancing, probably wondering if Malaysia mistook the Asian Cup for a high-stakes tea party.
And what about the overlooked heroes? Malaysian hockey chief Subahan Kamal is likely questioning why the men's team, despite their Paris Olympic qualifier fiasco, isn't getting a slice of the windfall.
Maybe they should consider a naturalization program to attract attention – because nothing says success like fielding players who barely know the national anthem.
The government's reasoning, according to Yeoh, is that FAM's president, Hamidin Amin, is perpetually in need of funds. Well, Subahan needs funds too, but maybe he should've thought about recruiting a few naturalized hockey players first.
But let's not forget the golden rule: in Malaysia, if it's not on TV, it doesn't matter. While hockey matches in Muscat went unnoticed, football took centre stage on living room screens and giant stadium displays. Because, clearly, the key to creating a sports-loving nation is to ensure everything is televised, regardless of quality or significance.
As we dissect the Football Association of Malaysia (FAM), it's hard to ignore the unpaid salaries, the Malaysia Football League's lack of success, and the plethora of policy blunders that make FAM's reputation look like a Shakespearean tragedy.
Making wise decisions seems to be a sport even more elusive than Malaysia's football success – and that, my friends, is the real joke that even stand up comedian Douglas Lim can not resist making fun of the absurdity with his latest episode appropriately titled TMA Tak Masuk Akal ( doesn't make sense) that I strongly recommend you watch and have a good laugh.
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