A Singaporean mother sparked an online debate with an anecdote she shared on Facebook, where she alleged a bakery staff made an insensitive remark about her parenting skills.
The post was shared to the group Complaint Singapore, but the comment section has since been closed at the time of writing.
ADHD kids bit into donuts
In the post, the woman wrote that she took her two young children, who both had ADHD, to Yamazaki Bakery at VivoCity, along with a domestic helper.
She said before she could stop her kids from doing anything, both of them picked up a donut each from the display and sank their teeth into it.
Embarrassed by the situation, she immediately apologised to the staff and assured them that payment would be made for the donuts.
Remark made by staff
While the woman continued browsing for a few more items, she heard an elderly female staff say very loudly in Mandarin, “We cannot blame the children. We can only blame the parents for their poor upbringing.”
These words left her feeling stunned and hurt as it added to the heavy burden of having to raise two children with ADHD.
“Every outing requires patience, constant vigilance, and understanding because my children can act impulsively before they fully process the consequences of their actions.
“This is not because they are ill-mannered, spoiled, or intentionally disobedient. It is part of a neurodevelopmental condition that they never chose to have, and certainly not something I wished upon them.
“Hearing a stranger publicly judge my parenting, without knowing anything about my children or our circumstances, was incredibly painful and humiliating,” she wrote.
Confronted staff
The woman said she then “approached (the staff) calmly” and explained that both of her kids have ADHD, and that what they did wasn’t due to poor parenting.
She also told the staff that her remark was “deeply hurtful.”
I don’t expect everyone to understand ADHD, but I do hope people can choose kindness over judgement. A few careless words can leave scars that last far longer than the incident itself.
“Before criticising a parent or a child, please remember that you may not know the battles they are fighting behind closed doors. Compassion costs nothing, but it can mean everything to a family trying their very best.”
Debate
In the comment section, there were some who expressed support for the woman and agreed that it wasn’t easy to care for children with ADHD.
On the other hand, some accused the woman of using ADHD as an excuse for her children’s behaviour and not taking responsibility.
They also said she lost the moral ground when she posted a photo of the bakery staff.
What do you think about this? Share with us in the comments!
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