Shared diary reveals disturbing signs of self-harm in Zara Qairina case

10 Nov 2025 • 3:45 PM MYT
The Vibes
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A WITNESS told the Kota Kinabalu Coroner’s Court today that she and the late Zara Qairina Mahathir began writing in a shared diary in May 2024.

The 32nd child witness, represented by lawyer Joan Goh, testified that she and Zara had been close friends since primary school, attending the same religious class.

The witness said the two girls had two diaries, one brown and one black, taking turns to write in them each week at one another’s homes. She last wrote in the diary in February 2025.

“The witness said she saw Zara’s diary when she visited her house earlier this year. She also noticed blood stains on some pages of the diary at school. Zara had brought the diary to school, and the witness was confident the blood was Zara’s because the diary was in her possession at the time,” Goh told the court.

According to the witness, Zara often referred to her act of cutting her own hand as a ‘barcode’ and admitted that she would make a ‘barcode’ two or three times a month. “Zara had told the witness that she was under stress but never revealed the cause or to whom she wanted to confide her problems,” Goh added.

The witness said Zara had informed her that her mother was aware of her self-harming, though she was unsure to what extent her mother had intervened. “The witness herself had seen the scars on Zara’s left hand, although they were not bleeding at the time. When asked about it, Zara just smiled and said it didn’t hurt. She had done it repeatedly, sometimes even in front of the witness using a pencil sharpener blade. The witness then took the blade and threw it into the bin,” Goh said.

The witness described Zara as an only child who often visited her house to play and spend time with her family, though she never stayed overnight. She rarely spoke about her father and never mentioned any problems with her mother or family.

The court heard that Zara could be easily jealous and obsessive in her friendships. “The witness and Zara once argued over jealousy and stopped talking for more than two weeks.

Later, the witness wrote a letter to reconcile with her. Zara had once promised that she would not make any more ‘barcode’, and if she did, their friendship would end. Since then, Zara had stopped doing so,” Goh said.

The witness also received small notes from Zara, one of which read, “(name of witness)... if I die, please do not forget me.”

Proceedings are set to resume this afternoon with the testimony of another child witness. - November 10, 2025