SPOILER ALERT: When Life Gives You Tangerines🍊- 5 Life Lessons We Can Take Away from Gwan-Sik & Ae-Sun

When Life Gives You Tangeries, starring IU & Park Bo-Gum as the main leads have taken over not just the K-Drama scene in the first quarter of the year, but throughout the world as the story of Gwan-Sik & Ae-Sun's sweet and bitter life touched the hearts of fans in all 16 episodes on Netflix. As a watcher myself, I'll be honest that I cried (or at least wanted to) as I watched every episode. Each is laced with much pain but yet also laughter, as the realization hit me that the drama reflects many pivotal moments of my life too. Here are some takeaways from the show that we can all learn from:

You can choose a husband, but your children can’t choose their father

In a clear comparison between Gwan-Sik & Sang-Gil, these two men show us (especially women) just how important it is to choose the right husband. While Gwan-Sik treats Ae-Sun & Geum-myeong like gold and tries to provide them everything though he often doesn’t have the monetary means to, Sang-Gil, with loads of money, treats Young-Ran and Hyeon-Suk like slaves who owe him the life that they lived comfortably with his money (not to mention, he is also an abusive husband and an emotionally closed-off father). Even his redemption arc in the end can’t justify how he’s lived in the past 30 years.

Choosing the right husband is not easy but remains a choice we can still make. However, your children cannot opt for another father, and the one they’ll have to live the rest of their lives being the daughter of the man they’re born to. This is an extremely important decision that not only determines how the rest of your life plays out, but also the next 2-3 generations as children often adopt behavioural patterns from their parents.

Appreciate your parents while they’re still here – they don’t have forever with us

Just like both Geum-myeong & Eun-Myeong, we think we have the rest of our lives to spend with our parents and repay them for all the sacrifices they’ve made for us over the years. Eun-myeong kept saying he’ll buy his dad’s boat back and a Mercedes, but he never had the chance to as Gwan-Sik’s life was unfortunately cut short in his 50s.

Geum-myeong was a bit luckier and had the chance to spend a few more of Gwan-Sik’s last moments with him by prioritising her parents’ welfare during those moments. Even then, by his hospital bed, she realised it was too late to do everything she had planned for him and cried her eyes out.

This reminds us that our parents won’t be with us forever and can even be gone within the next few seconds. It’s a call for us to appreciate them when they’re still around with us – we can always earn back our money but time with them can never be bought. We only have very limited quantities, and even the years can pass by quickly. Love them wholeheartedly with not just gifts, but with the care and kindness they’ve always wished for from their children.

Choose your words wisely, someone might remember them forever

There were too many instances that both Geum-myeong and Eun-myeong intentionally or unintentionally mentioned how poor they were, and how their parents could never afford to give them better things growing up. While they do end up apologising for most of these moments, it’s evident that this pained both Gwan-Sik and Ae-Sun, who sacrificed too much in their lives to raise them. It was the best they could do and yet, it still wasn’t enough. Throughout their older ages, both parents tried to provide luxuries to make up for lost opportunities.

While it’s understandable that we might be upset at our parents for a multitude of reasons growing up, we must remember to choose wisely what we say, as even the smallest of words can remain for a long time in the hearts of those who love us. If we need to make a point, there are kinder and gentler ways to let them know without bringing up the inadequacies of someone who has tried their best. However, we should strive to never raise our voice or speak harshly with our parents at all – we’re wasting too much time that could be used to build stronger bonds together.

Love is patient, kind and warm – but only by actions

In about 80% of the drama, Young-Beom was a green flag. He loved Geum-Myeong openly, and tried his best to make their relationship work, going as far as offering to leave his controlling mum for her. However, this was never what Geum-myeong ever wanted or asked for – she only asked that he stand by her side and stand up to his mum on her behalf, as she was in a technically powerless position as a daughter-in-law. Young-Beom could never do this for her, is it even possible for him to leave his mum for her?

In hindsight, if she proceeded with the marriage, Geum-myeong would be stuck in a resentful marriage where she would feel lonely and miserable, as she would be often abused verbally by Young-Beom’s mum. In the end, she had to take matters into her own hands and call off the wedding herself, because Young-Beom was too afraid to do anything.

Real, authentic love is supposed to feel patient, warm and kind, but no number of words from Young-Beom could make Geum-myeong feel that, as it lacked action on his end in the way she needed it. This reminds us that actions will always triumph over loving words, as only though the actions of a person will we know how much they value us. Between the loving moments, it is important to observe their actions especially during difficult moments, as that’s when their true colours come out.

It is honestly scary to consider what needs to be done when someone you love acts in a way that isn’t patient, kind and warm towards you – however, we can learn from Geum-myeong that true strength comes from loving yourself enough to walk away from what doesn’t serve you anymore.

Life is like a tangerine – sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, but still worth it

At the end of Gwan-Sik’s life, both him and Ae-Sun took a quick moment to look back at the tumultuous yet fulfilling life they lived together, and no matter how difficult it was (even from the eyes of the viewers), they considered it a good life and didn’t need anything else.

Even with the hard labour throughout their lives, losing their youngest child, and not having enough money on most days, wondering how they’d get by, their life was like a tangerine – sweet yet somewhat bitter, but still worth it. Their hardships were made worthy by seeing their children grow up to be loving and successful people and having the chance to watch their grandchildren grow up the same way. There were great moments woven into their lives too, when Gwan-Sik finally took a chance in opening a restaurant in his 50s and Ae-Sun finally becoming a published poet.

This reminds us that life will never be a full page of just good or bad moments, but both intertwined together to make a beautiful memory. As long as we know how to appreciate the good moments when we’re living them, and stay resilient enough to make it through the hard ones, life will always be beautiful, and worth living.

C Chai is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!

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