I’ve now been on the road for two weeks. And nothing has gone according to plan. From Day 1.
If you follow me on social media, you know that tragedy struck my family hard two weeks ago. Unexpectedly, devastatingly hard. The whole planned trip got cancelled or rather rerouted, repurposed, and rearranged 4 hours into our drive away from home. And my whole family is still reeling. The loss is so hard.
My brother died. The eldest of my three brothers is gone. Forever.
Instead of a “getting dad back into the world” road trip. It became a find out what happened, plan a service, say good bye to someone who is gone far too early trip. And then clean up.
It’s one thing to say good bye to someone whose time it is, who is sick, who is ready. It’s another to be shocked at a death with absolutely so forewarning and so many questions. Questions, we may never have answers too.
And even I, who can always find a silver lining, find some hope, see an adventure in a hardship…I can’t, in this.
And if dealing with the loss of my mom and the “estate” type stuff the last 4 months wasn’t enough, now wading into that with my brother to help my dad. It’s a whole different story. Lots of other players, decision makers, influencers. It’s hard, so hard. Especially when what we really want is answers to so many unanswered questions.
Death is expensive. Mind blowingly expensive. How in the world do people afford these services?
Please plan for it. Even if it’s not expected. Maybe especially if it’s not expected. Tell your loved ones your desires for your body, your service, your stuff. Your memory. Don’t leave things unsaid. Forgive.
While my day to day life may not be changing. My heart and mind are changed forever.
My brother’s obituary: https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/katy-tx/micah-huckaby-13076404
The “trip” will end a week earlier than planned. Dad did make it to his high school reunion. In fact, he’s there as I’m writing this. We all encouraged him to attend seeing it’s probably the last time he will see many of these people and he’s so been looking forward to it. I am getting to check on my storage unit for the first time in over a year. And see my daughters for a couple of days.
But the work has just begun. Lots of “stuff” to sort. And lot’s of grief…so much grief.
And we await the autopsy report. With hope and dread. This isn’t supposed to happen…to anyone.
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