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By Mihar Dias (C) Copyright December 2023
In a stunning revelation, civil servants in Malaysia have been hit with a dire warning against the perils of extramarital affairs.
Because apparently, ensuring a smooth flow of paperwork and bureaucratic red tape isn't challenging enough; now, the government wants to manage the love lives of its employees.
The warning, akin to a digital billboard screaming "Keep It In Your Pants," was issued by various government agencies, including the Custom Department, Agriculture Department, and Federal Territories Islamic Department.
One can only imagine the emergency meetings that led to this crucial decision: “Quick, the nation's stability hinges on the fidelity of our civil servants!”
The notice ominously suggests that damaging relationships among civil servants could tarnish the holy sanctity of the public service. Because clearly, ensuring the moral high ground of government employees is the linchpin of a well-functioning bureaucracy.
But wait, there's more! Having an extramarital affair is not just frowned upon; it's a disciplinary offense.
Yes, that's right – forget about misappropriating funds or corruption; the real scandal lies in the romantic escapades of public servants. Section 38 of the Syariah Criminal Offences (Federal Territories) 1997 now looms like a sword of Damocles over the heads of those contemplating an office romance.
The Agriculture Department takes it up a notch, reminding everyone that enticing a married woman is a criminal offense under Section 498 of the Penal Code.
So, dear civil servants, remember to resist that irresistible charm; you wouldn't want to end up in a courtroom drama reminiscent of a poorly scripted soap opera.
Malaysiakini reports that the motivation behind this sudden concern for marital fidelity remains unclear.
Perhaps the government stumbled upon a secret society of office Casanovas and heartbreakers, covertly operating within the bureaucratic labyrinth.
Or maybe, in a quest for moral superiority, they decided to tackle the nation's real issues – forget economy, healthcare, or education; let's fix relationships!
In conclusion, while the rest of the world grapples with real problems, Malaysia has bravely taken a stand against the looming threat of civil servants enjoying a little too much love on the side.
Because if there's one thing we can't have in a functioning society, it's public servants who are happily in love – that would be a scandal too far.
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