20 years ago, men yearned to take women on dates, and then yearned to marry them. Now, we just swipe left and right and hope for the best.
When I tried dating apps again, I find myself swiping left endlessly swiping left - partially because I don't even know if I really want to talk to anyone, and partially because these profiles seem too made-up to be true. While I don't doubt that there are some genuine men behind these profiles seeking a “the one" (just like I am), the general consensus is that we're all just hoping that ‘fate’ alone somehow just brings us together.
In olden times when social media did not exist, men and women both proactively sought out the one they loved - showing commitment, care and ultimately enhancing themselves to be the best versions they can to sustain a long-term relationship. That was the norm, and showed reasonable success so they kept to it.
These days, with an abundance of dating apps available - that culture just seemed to have died off. Youngsters (including myself once again, unfortunately) immediately turn to the easiest option available on their phones, open up the apps and start swiping based on looks and a character-limited caption on my possible soulmate's personality and ideals. While it's convenient, after awhile, the entire scheme just throws you off.
The feeling that waiting on and searching for ‘the one’ then becomes a dating app fatigue, or perhaps a social fatigue while you meet and talk to different people every night. While you constantly swipe left or right, you then start to wonder if you're actually moving forwards in your love life or just going in circles to avoid the loneliness that comes when you're alone after a long day.
Everyone hopes that whatever effort we put in to find ‘the one’ pays off in the end - but the question is, would the bare minimum be enough? What happened to the efforts of the past where couples did everything they could to make it to marriage? Today, we switch up on partners as if that's the most normal thing to do, mostly to protect our ego and our hearts from the pain and vulnerability of possibly losing someone we loved with all our heart.
Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but if I only live once, I'd want to be brave enough to go through all my challenges, and face all the pain head first - so that when I do find ‘the one’, I know without a doubt it's here to stay.
C Chai (crystal.chaijeecheng@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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