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By Mihar Dias (C) Copyright May 2024
At a recent wedding in Janda Baik, an American bride, Alison, was carried into the hall on a palanquin, a grand and rarely seen tradition.
This "covered type of litter for a stretched-out passenger, carried on four poles on the shoulders of four or more bearers," is often associated with historical practices in eastern Asia. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/palanquin
The bride, ecstatic beyond belief, seemed to float on a cloud of happiness as she was elevated both physically and metaphorically.
As I congratulated her at the end of the ceremony, I couldn't resist a light-hearted comment: “Don't expect to be carried on a palanquin for the rest of your life!”
This charming scene got me thinking about the concept of placing one's partner on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of marriage.
While it's beautiful to elevate each other, it’s also essential to keep our feet firmly on the ground. Here are a few pieces of advice for the newlyweds to balance admiration with reality.
It's natural to adore your partner's qualities and achievements. Celebrate these strengths openly and often. However, remember that admiration should be mutual. Pedestals can become lonely places if one partner feels perpetually uplifted while the other remains on the ground.
We all have flaws. It's important to recognise and accept them in our partners. Expecting perfection may lead to disappointment and unrealistic expectations. Embrace each other's imperfections as part of what makes your relationship unique.
Respect forms the bedrock of a healthy relationship. While putting your partner on a pedestal might seem respectful, true respect involves seeing and appreciating them as they are, not as an idealized version. Mutual respect is about recognizing each other's humanity, including strengths and weaknesses.
A relationship thrives on shared responsibilities. When one partner is consistently elevated, the balance of duties can skew, leading to potential resentment. Ensure that both of you contribute equally to the partnership, whether in household chores, emotional support, or decision-making.
Open communication is vital. Discuss your feelings, expectations, and any pressures you might feel from being placed on a pedestal. Honest conversations help you understand each other better and navigate the complexities of your relationship with clarity.
While practicality is important, so is maintaining the romance. Gestures like the palanquin ride are delightful, but romance can also be found in the everyday—sharing a meal, a walk, or a heartfelt conversation. Keep the romance alive by appreciating the small moments as much as the grand gestures.
Marriage is a journey of growth. Encourage each other to pursue personal goals and dreams. Grow together by supporting each other's aspirations and celebrating milestones, both big and small.
In conclusion, while it's enchanting to place each other on a pedestal occasionally, it's crucial to balance this with a grounded appreciation of reality.
Love each other deeply, respect each other profoundly, and remember that a strong partnership is built on mutual support, understanding, and shared responsibility.
As you embark on this beautiful journey together, may you always find joy in lifting each other up while keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground.
All the best to Alison and Adam.
Mihar Dias is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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