Last of two parts
BEYOND these practical lessons, we must also form something deeper in our children: moral courage.
Courage is not merely the absence of fear; it is the willingness to do what is right in spite of fear. It is the strength to stand firm when pressure is intense, when opposition is strong, and when the cost of doing right is high.
Courage in the midst of fear and difficulty
This kind of courage is desperately needed in every generation, but especially in ours. We are raising children who will one day face not only schoolyard bullies, but the larger pressures of life. These are systems, cultures and even institutions that may reward compromise and punish integrity. In such a world, it is not enough to be smart or talented. We need men and women of conviction.
We need a next generation of leaders who are not easily intimidated. Leaders who will rise to the occasion when confronted by injustice. Leaders who will not bow to the “bullies” of life — whether those bullies appear in the form of corruption, abuse of power, peer pressure or cultural hostility toward truth.
This is why teaching children how to stand up to bullies biblically is not a minor parenting concern, it is a matter of shaping future character. A child who learns, under God, to stand firm with humility and courage today may become the kind of adult who can stand for righteousness in the public square tomorrow.
David did not become a man of courage in the valley of Elah; he was already a man of courage in the fields where he protected his flock. In the same way, courage is formed in small daily decisions long before it is tested in great crises.
We must therefore teach our children that courage is not optional in the Christian life. It is part of faithful discipleship. It is the willingness to obey God rather than men, even when it is uncomfortable, unpopular or costly.
God also established authorities
Romans 12 tells Christians: “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves... for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
But the chapter does not end by telling Christians simply to surrender to evil. It concludes: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)
Notice the words: Overcome evil.
Then comes Romans 13.
Paul explains that legitimate governing authority is “God’s minister to you for good,” and that the authority “does not bear the sword in vain,” being “an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.” (Romans 13:4)
There is no contradiction. Romans 12 prohibits personal vengeance; Romans 13 recognizes legitimate justice.
For a child, those legitimate authorities may include parents, teachers, school administrators and, where necessary, lawful authorities. Reporting abuse is therefore not necessarily revenge. Seeking protection and justice through proper authority can be entirely consistent with the biblical order for restraining wrongdoing.
This is perhaps what we should teach our children:
Do not become the bully. Do not seek revenge. Do not repay cruelty with cruelty. But neither should you allow another person’s cruelty to convince you that you are worthless or helpless.
Walk away when wisdom requires it. Speak when something is wrong. Defend yourself proportionately when necessary. Protect others when they are vulnerable. Tell your parents. Report persistent abuse. Seek legitimate authority and justice.
Most importantly, fear God rather than man.
We should raise children who are gentle without being weak, forgiving without enabling abuse, peaceful without becoming passive and courageous without becoming violent.
Because turning the other cheek was never a command to surrender to evil.
It was Christ’s command that, when confronting evil, we must never allow evil to conquer us in the process.
