When I walked into the house, it felt really tense, like there was about to be a big fight. Inside, the family was arguing loudly. I couldn't help but listen, and what they were saying really got to me:
“You are my family, but you never respect my will and my choice!”
“Because we love you, we won’t let you go the wrong way!”
These two simple conversations are enough to put me in a daze and meditate in my room all day long.
“It’s awesome but not just a family talent show!”
In the modern world of parenting, many families have a classic story. It all started with the dream of parents who dreamed of their children becoming music masters. In the name of creating the next Mozart or Beyoncé, they began to force their children to learn piano, violin, or any instrument at hand.
A few years ago, I participated in “Euroasia Strings Competition”. I put in a lot of effort and even ended up with blisters on my fingers from all the practicing. In the end, I won third place in the competition, and I was really excited to share this good news with my mom. However, her response was, "Only third place?" At that moment, I stood by the roadside, feeling a bit stunned. I couldn't help but ask myself, “Did I not do well enough?”
Is it really bad to study music in college?
Learning to play a musical instrument can provide many valuable skills, such as enhancing cognitive abilities, boosting creativity, and reducing stress, among other benefits. However, parents often overlook the true significance of their children learning an instrument. Instead, they might want their kids to win awards and show off to other parents. They might even push their kids too hard, just to look better than other kids. Mr.Tang was involved in music education for nearly ten years, this is what he said “Every child's growth journey is unique. We should encourage them to progress step by step. We shouldn't always measure success by being first.”
Most parents are actually like this. First, you force me into music. Then when I like music, love for music deepens, and want to further my education in that field you are like "Whaaaat? No one gets ANYWHERE with music!".
Learning music in college is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, if you love music and want it to be your career, this may be a great choice. But like any other major or job, you should consider what you like, what you want to achieve, and what challenges you may face. Parents and children must talk openly and make decisions according to their goals and circumstances.
In addition, there are many different jobs in the music industry, not just becoming a famous singer or musician. You can become a music teacher, composer, or even work in music technology. College not only teaches you how to play music, but also teaches you background knowledge, such as the history and theory of music, which can make you a comprehensive musician.
Is learning an instrument gender-specific like using the restroom?
When I was a child, my mother took me to a music academy, and when she asked me what instrument I wanted to learn, I said I wanted to learn the piano. However, my mother told me:
“Huh? Why piano? Piano is for ‘girl girl’ one, boys must play something like guitar, drum! Choose anything except piano!”
This left me feeling a bit confused because I really loved piano music. In the end I have chosen to learn the violin and guitar, opting for the guitar to fulfill my mother’s request.
People were stereotyped that some music instruments were only suitable for a specific gender. For example, only girls played violin, and boys do drums. But these mindsets were old and no longer applicable. Nowadays, anyone, whether boy or girl can choose an instrument they like and become master at it. Music talent doesn’t care whether you are a boy or a girl. Mr. Justine, a 36-year-old music teacher says that " If you can play a small flute and attract birds from trees, you are impressive! People will admire and respect you.”
“I never thought that I would learn musical instruments one day. My parents sent me here!”
Parents send their kids to learn musical instruments for different reasons. Some want it to be a fun hobby, while others hope their child might become a professional musician or even a famous singer. In modern Malaysia, their motivation is actually to help their children learn a skill. If you've noticed in recent years, many places have started offering different kinds of interest classes, such as abacus mathematics class, robotics, and so on. Even things you might not have thought about, they will find a way to enroll in.
Normally there would be several scenarios when it comes to kids learning music. The first scenario includes children who genuinely love music. They saw it on TV, streaming platforms, or when their friends played instruments or performed, hence they demanded a chance from their families to learn. This is the most optimal case. Another common scenario is parents who wanted to learn music when they were young but they couldn't. By giving their kids the chance to engage in the engagement of music, they are eager to let their kids fix whatever parents feel regret for. However, this can lead to a dilemma situation. If the kid enjoys learning, it's positive. But if they don't like it and are being forced to pursue it, it could be harmful. In some cases, children are forced to learn music, regardless of their willingness. Just like Mr.Tang said “Most parents want to fulfill their past regrets and provide their children with opportunities. Children often don't have a concept of music; the most common thing we hear is, “My mom asked me to come and learn.”
Finding the Right Tune
In the world of music, everyone, regardless of gender and who they are, can find their own tune. Learning an instrument is like discovering a secret language that lets you express your feelings without words.
So, go ahead, and pick up that guitar, piano, or any instrument you love. Let the music guide your fingers and your heart. It's not just about playing the right notes; it's about creating something beautiful. Mr.Tang also said, “We can't hide from others' judgments, so be courageous and share your thoughts, especially in the field of music.”
No matter you want to embark on a musical journey in the future or simply pursue it as a hobby, enjoy the process, and remember, every practice session is a step closer to mastering the melody of your dreams!
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