After weeks of machiavellian moves and meme-worthy moments on The Celebrity Traitors – which, at its peak, has gripped a staggering 15 million of us – the final is upon us. As is so often the case in this game, the most entertaining players are long gone. Richard E Grant, we hardly knew ye. Joe Lycett malfunctioned and self-sabotaged. Ross Kemp’s greatest fear came true when he was murdered in plain sight with a lethal yawn. And Miranda Hart was a hoot, from her accidental Hitler impression to her skipping and, erm, thrusting.
We started the show with 21 players, and are now left with just seven (James Acaster was the show’s latest departure, after he Richard-E-Granted himself at the roundtable). And while the lineup’s not as thrilling as it was, there are still some great personalities in the game, and some who wield real power. As it stands, our two remaining Traitors – Maya Jama and King Kenny – are finally starting to come under suspicion. They seemed like the most powerful players for a while, but now big-dog Faithful/“vengeful daddy” Michael Sheen is hot on their tails. Nothing is certain, but we can still try to guess how things might play out.
So without further ado, in ascending order, here’s our power ranking of the final seven…
7. Leigh-Anne Pinnock
The Little Mix star survived lipgloss-gate and then dance-gate – one of the highlights of the series, which she’s been unfairly punished for if you ask me! But I’m not sure how many lives she’s got left. If Leigh-Anne’s BFF Maya somehow manages to wriggle out of all the heat she’s getting from Michael (and that’s a big if), then my money is on Maya keeping the singer in the game, as she knows she trusts her unequivocally. And blinded by love for Maya, Leigh-Anne will be totally caught off-guard at the final firepit.
6. Maya Jama
Before yesterday, Maya was undoubtedly the most powerful player in the game. No one in the castle had a scoobie she was a Traitor; she had played a blinding game. In the show’s opening stages, the Love Island presenter wasted no time throwing a frazzled Richard E Grant under the bus, and ever since, she embraced her villain era with relish. She was a total puppeteer – ruling the turret, devising all the strategy and sending James A and King Kenny off on little murderous errands. And never not looking gorgeous while she did it. But now Michael and James Blunt are suspicious of Maya, thanks to the murder of Ross Kemp in plain sight, and I’m not sure she can survive this one. (To be honest, I’m still recovering from the tension between her and Michael around the firepit last night.)
5. James Blunt
You can’t say Blunty hasn’t played an enthusiastic game. From his shield theory/campaign to get out poor old Julie Hesmondhalgh, to his offputting bossiness in the challenges and his strange shower segment, the singer has certainly given it his all. For a while, when it came to his Traitor-hunting, he was wide of the mark every time. But now, at last, he seems to be onto something: he can’t get Ross’s untimely death out of his head, and he wants the Faithful to go after the quietest, most innocent-seeming players... watch out Maya and Kenny! As we know though, putting his head above the parapet could lead to him getting murdered with just the flick of a fountain pen.
4. Sebastian ‘Bash’ Croft
Bash is nestled right in the middle of this power ranking because he’s the sweet baby of the group – inoffensive and just coasting along nicely. But he did impress fans last week by doing something that no other player in the series had done so far: raise Maya’s name. And now, after the chaotic departure of James Acaster, Maya is in real hot water. This means she has good reason to kill him... so he could regret voicing his suspicions.
3. King Kenny
At long last, Kenny’s name has started to be thrown around a little bit. If Maya’s by his side, she’ll protect him to the very end, but he might be left without his best pal in the castle sooner than expected. And the Faithful know he was in the library the night Ross was murdered in plain sight, so they might not be able to let that go. That said, he’s got charm by the bucketful, with the biggest, most infectious smile of anyone in the game. And I think that will get him very far.
2. Romesh Ranganathan
Romesh has a quiet power. And wisdom. He should not be underestimated. The comedian has got a good balancing act going on: he’s not exactly outspoken (and has hence evaded murder), and yet he’s very much on a calm and considered fact-finding mission (so the Faithful trust him). He seems a little lonely after the departures of his pals Rob Beckett and Jerry Hall, but he’s very well liked among the other players thanks to his deadpan humour and general lack of spikiness. My bet’s on his popularity getting him right to the end.
1. Michael Sheen
I’m actually started to feel quite frightened of Michael Sheen. I can’t stop thinking about his terrifying “I dare you to get close to me” grin during the blindfold challenge. If I were a Traitor, I’d have crumbled right there and then. And then there was his rallying speech at breakfast in the semi-final. “Traitors,” he growled, “today is going to be a living hell for you, I am going to push and push and push and you are going to suffer today. This is the apocalypse. Vengeful daddy is in the house today.” Maya totally knows he’s onto her, but she can’t really do anything about it as it’d be far too obvious to murder him. Ah, wouldn’t it be nice to see this big-dog Faithful take the win?
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