Blame and punishment don’t solve problems — sharing responsibilities does.
In recent months, sad and troubling incidents involving schoolchildren have filled the news. And as each story breaks, the familiar chorus begins — “Whose fault was it?” Fingers start pointing in every direction. Some even suggest bringing back the cane.
Finger-pointing is a form of blame culture. It shifts responsibility to someone else and removes accountability from ourselves. When we blame, we make others responsible and free ourselves of the burden. But we know too well that blame culture is toxic. It breeds fear of making mistakes, encourages people to avoid responsibility, wastes effort on defence instead of solutions, and leaves a deep psychological scar.
Is this really the culture we want our children to grow up in? And what will caning teach them — to behave or to fear? I know this because I was caned more than once. Yet my desire to play outweighed my will to study, and I accepted the punishment as part of it. It taught me that fear alone cannot change a child’s mind — only guidance can.
I am not a parent. But as a leader in the corporate world, I have spent years guiding and coaching others toward both personal and career growths — understanding their strengths, helping them bring out their best, and working with them on their weaknesses. I was not perfect, but I learned and improved through the journey. And very often, I felt I was also managing “children,” helping them navigate their quests for growth. I write this from that experience.
A child’s mind and behaviour begin developing even before birth. Their brain is like soft clay, shaped by what it experiences. From the start, the brain forms connections through sensory experiences, caregiving, attachment, imitation, and feedback from the environment. Over time, behaviour is shaped by the world around them — by rules, culture, and values.
Today’s digital world adds a new layer of challenge. Many Gen Alpha children grow up with devices that soothe them when they cry, entertain them when parents are too busy, and later become their main means of connection. One video leads to another, and soon they find content no child should see.
Online spaces have also become toxic. Keyboard warriors are quick to judge and condemn. Even some of our national leaders are guilty of shouting, name-calling, and showing arrogance instead of respect. When children see such behaviour from those in power, they learn that authority can be loud, not wise; forceful, not fair.
There is no shortage of outside influences shaping young minds today. That is why the role of parents is more crucial than ever. Parents build the foundation of a child’s mind and behaviour. This foundation must be continuously strengthened as the child faces the world independently. Creating an open, safe space for honest conversation is vital — it teaches the child to trust and to think. No one else, and certainly no device, can build that foundation.
Educators — as teachers should be more appropriately called — play a supporting but essential role. They defend and reinforce the foundation built by parents. Educators are leaders too — guiding children through social situations, helping them live with differences, educating and coaching them for the future, and watching for any signs that a child is struggling or in distress.
Parents and Educators must therefore work hand in hand. Parents shape the roots; Educators help the branches grow straight. Regular communication between them helps identify early red flags and keeps the child on course.
As for caning — it does not build character. It only plants fear. In a corporate setting, the cane is effectively a form of ‘borrowed authority’. A strong influence from parents and Educators is far more powerful. When they become people whom children respect and look up to, missteps caused by outside influence can be corrected with understanding, not punishment.
Finally, our leaders too must recognise their part. Children watch how leaders speak and act. Monkey see, monkey do. The tone set by leaders echoes through society.
The issues we see in schools today cannot be solved by the Ministry of Education alone. Every arm of government must ask itself: how can we help shape a society that nurtures and empathises, rather than punishes and blames? Because raising a child is not just a family duty — it is a national responsibility.
Coco Nut (anitadharam@yahoo.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
The User Content (as defined on Newswav Terms of Use) above including the views expressed and media (pictures, videos, citations etc) were submitted & posted by the author. Newswav is solely an aggregation platform that hosts the User Content. If you have any questions about the content, copyright or other issues of the work, please contact creator@newswav.com.