There appears to be a new narrative waiting for us each time we access social media. A new automobile was purchased. A house was purchased. Someone became engaged. A person was married. Someone took a trip abroad. A promotion was given to someone. The lottery was won by someone. When we move on to the next story, we see someone else accomplishing something we wish we could have. We begin comparing our life to theirs without even recognizing it. We begin to wonder, "Why am I so far behind?" or "Why am I not there yet?" Sometimes we even persuade ourselves that perhaps we don't deserve the same level of enjoyment as others do. This is the point at which comparison becomes risky.
In actuality, humans are inherently inclined toward comparison. To boost their self-esteem, some people compare themselves to others. They desire to demonstrate that they are performing better, making more money, appearing better, or doing more. However, there is another kind of comparison that can cause even more suffering. It occurs when we feel like we are lagging behind and are continuously observing the lives of others. We look at our own lives as if something is amiss with us as soon as we witness their achievement. Because we are too preoccupied with what other people have, we lose sight of everything we have already accomplished.
However, we must recognize that you are not living the same life as that individual. Your circumstances, opportunities, challenges, obligations, family history, financial status, and timing are all different. It is possible for someone to accomplish something at age 25 and for someone else to accomplish the same thing at age 35. A chance may come to someone with ease, yet it may take years for someone else to have the same opportunity. Does that imply that the second individual was unsuccessful? Not at all. Life is not a race in which everyone must arrive at the same place at the same age.
We sometimes forget that social media rarely shows us the process, but it does show us the outcome. You witness someone purchasing a home, but you are blind to the years of savings they put in. You witness someone traveling, but you are unaware of the sacrifices they made to make the trip possible. When you watch someone's engagement announcement, you have no idea what they had to go through to find that relationship. You witness someone's achievements, but you are blind to their setbacks, disappointments, rejection, and restless nights. We are comparing a few moments from someone else's highlight reel to our entire lives.
What else should we compare? Make a self-comparison. Compare your current self with your past self. "Am I learning something new?" ask yourself. Am I growing more accountable? Do I take better care of myself? Am I becoming more like the person I want to be? That's the comparison that genuinely fosters personal development. You don't have to outperform others. All you have to do is improve yourself. Improvements of whatever size are important. Sometimes working hard for five days can teach you more about yourself than obsessing about the accomplishments of others for months.
Indeed, there will always be some who possess certain advantages over you. You might not be as wealthy as someone else. Maybe someone is more appealing. Someone might have a more fulfilling career. Someone might fulfill their dreams more quickly. That's alright. You are not a failure because of their success. Your satisfaction is not diminished by theirs. Your path is not going nowhere just because theirs is going faster. While some travels are steady and slow, others are swift. The important thing is that you keep going.
Your life has its own schedule. You might not be where you want to be yet, but it doesn't mean you won't succeed. Continue working. Continue your education. Continue to get better. Even if you feel like you're making little progress, keep pushing yourself. Your chapter one shouldn't be compared to someone else's chapter twenty. The person you were yesterday is the only one you really need to compete with. Improve yourself now, and you'll be a stronger version of yourself tomorrow.
Mirhaa05 (hemirhaphysio@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
The User Content (as defined on Newswav Terms of Use) above including the views expressed and media (pictures, videos, citations etc) were submitted & posted by the author. Newswav is solely an aggregation platform that hosts the User Content. If you have any questions about the content, copyright or other issues of the work, please contact creator@newswav.com.
