According to XUAN解忧树洞, a 32 year old man earning between RM7,000 and RM12,000 a month through sales says he has recently found himself questioning his relationship after becoming attracted to another woman.
His income fluctuates, but his monthly fixed expenses, instalments and small investments come to around RM3,500 to RM4,000. Before entering his current relationship, he believed his financial situation allowed him to enjoy a relatively comfortable life.
He has been dating his girlfriend for more than a year, and the couple have already met each other’s parents.
According to him, his girlfriend is very attractive, with a good figure, and he initially felt lucky to have won her over. When they first met, she appeared gentle, quiet and reserved.
However, he says her personality became quite different after they started dating.
One major source of pressure has been their intimate relationship. Initially, he was the more affectionate one while she was shy and passive. Over time, however, the situation reversed, with her wanting physical intimacy almost every day.
While he initially enjoyed the attention, he eventually began feeling overwhelmed, especially after exhausting days at work.
Their spending habits have also become a concern.
The couple typically spends around RM300 each time they go out for a movie, meal or date. With additional shopping, a single outing can easily reach RM400 to RM500. Meeting around twice a week means he estimates that he spends roughly RM2,400 a month on their dates, excluding gifts, celebrations and special occasions.
His girlfriend also enjoys buying snacks, bread and cakes, although he says some are only partially eaten or left untouched, leaving him to finish them.
More significantly, he says he has struggled with her emotional demands.
She dislikes texting and prefers making multiple phone calls throughout the day. If he misses a call, she may become upset. When he calls back to comfort her, she sometimes deliberately hangs up, leaving him to call repeatedly.
He also says she can lose her temper over small matters and has made comments such as being able to find a “better partner” or wondering what their future children would look like if they inherited his appearance.
Attempts to communicate have sometimes ended with her asking whether he no longer loves or appreciates her.
The couple eventually had their first cold war after he became overwhelmed and asked for some time to calm down. They later reconciled, although he feels there has been only limited change.
Recently, however, he met another woman who appears to be the complete opposite.
She is quiet, gentle and modest, but also very conscious of spending. Instead of expensive dates, she is comfortable eating economical meals and even suggests going after 8.30pm when certain food becomes cheaper.
She does not shop frequently and seems content with a simple lifestyle.
Yet the man acknowledges that the second woman does not have the same physical attractiveness as his girlfriend, nor does she appear particularly interested in physical intimacy.
This has left him torn between two very different types of relationships.
One offers excitement, affection, physical attraction and an intense sense of romance.
The other offers simplicity, financial practicality, emotional calm and companionship.
He is now questioning whether long-term happiness is more likely to come from a relationship filled with passion and excitement, or from having someone who makes everyday life feel less stressful.
The question he wants to ask netizens is: If faced with the same choice, which type of partner would you choose?
Jovy Jing (ndreagoh@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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