Self love begins the moment you choose yourself — your real self — over the version of you that others expect to see.
You cannot truly love yourself while living as a version of yourself that was designed for others.
The moment you start performing for other people's expectations, you are essentially saying — my real self is not good enough. That is the opposite of self love.
Your real self is your values, your personality, your quirks, your opinions — without the filter of other people's expectations.
It is the version of you that exists when nobody is watching.
Many of us spend years playing a role — the obedient one, the agreeable one, the one who never causes trouble.
Choosing your real self means retiring that performance.
The Mirror Doesn't Lie
There is a moment many of us have experienced — standing in front of a mirror and not quite liking what we see.
Not just our appearance, but the version of ourselves we have become.
The one who hid parts of themselves to please others.
That moment of honest reflection is where everything changes.
Fitting In vs. Being Yourself
For years, many of us chase the approval of others.
We adjust our words, our behaviour, even our dreams — just to feel accepted.
But approval from others is temporary. The only approval that lasts is the kind you give yourself.
Choosing to accept who you are — not who others want you to be — is one of the most courageous decisions you will ever make.
Your Mistakes Don't Define You
Some days will be hard. Progress will feel slow. You will look back at past mistakes and feel the weight of them.
But your mistakes are not your identity. They are your education.
Every stumble taught you something.
Every difficult season shaped your strength.
The person you are today exists because of everything you have been through, not in spite of it.
The Practice of Self Love
Self love is not a destination. It is a daily practice.
It means listening to your own heart instead of the noise around you.
It means showing up for yourself on difficult days.
It means saying I am enough — and actually starting to believe it.
Invest in Yourself — You Deserve It
One practical and often overlooked act of self love is spending on yourself — wisely and intentionally.
This does not mean being reckless with money. It means giving yourself permission to occasionally prioritise your own wellbeing.
Get that skincare product you have been putting off.
Sign up for a class that excites you.
Get a decent haircut.
Eat a good meal without guilt.
Take a short trip to recharge.
These are not luxuries. They are investments in your mental and emotional health.
When you spend on yourself within your means, you are sending yourself a powerful message — I matter. My happiness matters.
Being Yourself Feels Right
There is a quiet confidence that comes when you stop pretending and start being.
When you no longer shrink yourself to fit into spaces that were never meant for you.
It is not about being perfect. It is about being real.
Key Takeaway
Self love begins the moment you choose yourself — your real self — over the version of you that others expect to see.
And if there is one thing to remember — self love is not a single moment.
It is a daily choice to show up as your real self, invest in yourself, trust the process, and never stop believing that who you truly are is enough.
🎵 This article is inspired by my motivational song “Loving Myself : Being me feels right.”
Kevin Wong (wongsweeonn@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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